


Hot For Teacher

by bisexualr2d2



Category: The Mighty Boosh (TV)
Genre: Banter, Costumes, D/s, M/M, PWP, Spanking, Teacher/Student Roleplay, canon-typical idiocy, dirty talk involving stationary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2021-01-26 21:23:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21380806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bisexualr2d2/pseuds/bisexualr2d2
Summary: Vince has an outfit he'd like to show Howard. Fuckening ensues.
Relationships: Howard Moon/Vince Noir
Comments: 3
Kudos: 33





	Hot For Teacher

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was brought to you by clinical depression and finding comfort in old fandoms. Un-beta'd. Completed and posted at 3:30 in the morning because I'm an adult who has control over their life.

Howard was surprised to find Vince sprawled on the couch as he returned from another intellectually stimulating jazz club meeting. “I thought you were going out tonight?”

“I was. I did. Got to party right as the cops were shutting it down.” Vince shifted to face Howard as he explained. “Apparently holding an underground night club in a warehouse where raw meat is stored is illegal or something, but that just makes it punk rock, yeah?”

“There’s nothing punk rock about flagrant health code violations, Vince.”

“There’s nothing punk rock about narcing everyone at Meaty Mondays just because you found a couple dead cockroaches in your drink, either.”

“You should know that at Jazz club, we strictly enforce local and national food safety protocols, even if we’re meeting in a private residence.”

“Yeah, you would. The elderly need that sort of thing or else they’ll get sick and die.”

“We’re the same age, Vince.”

Vince chuckled to himself at how easily it was to get Howard all riled up. The club might’ve been a bust, but that didn’t mean that he still couldn’t have a little fun tonight.

“Wait here a sec, yeah? I have some new looks that I want to run by you.”

“Yeah, sure, show me something I’m undoubtedly too elderly to understand.” Howard muttered under his breath as Vince hurried off to change.

When he returned, Vince was wearing something Howard never expected: a white button down shirt knotted to show off his abdomen, a pleated miniskirt in red tartan that barely skimmed the top of his thighs, long white socks that only seemed to draw attention to the flash of flesh between where the skirt ended and the socks began, and a pair of platform maryjanes that he had no idea even came in men’s sizes.

“So, what do we think? It’s only a rough concept, it’ll need accessories. I could add a collar and bondage belt set to go for the kinky angle, or I could barrow one of your cardigans for the whole …Baby, One More Time look. Can’t go wrong with classic Britney. I’d have to wear bunches, though. Or maybe add more frills and make it a bit more innocent? The options are endless.”

Howard heard the words that Vince would saying, but none of them registered in his head as more than abstract noises. It wasn’t the most risqué thing he’d ever seen Vince wear, but being alone in a shared living space with him, essentially being asked to judge how fuckable his mate looks, was not a predicament he expected to be in.

“Is… is there a particular reason you chose this particular outfit to model?” Howard barely choked out as his mouth went dry.

“You’re always dressing like some sort of geography teacher, I figured this would make us look like a matching set,” Vince drew closer, his sheer white panties showing as he moved, his tone almost predatory, “especially if you’re the kind of shifty teacher who wants to fuck his students.”

“I’d never do such a thing.” His voice became squeakier by the second as all of his blood rushed from his brain to his groin.

“Please, Mr. Moon, I’d do anything to raise my grade,” Vince practically purred as he lowered himself to his knees. “Please don’t spank me for storing stationary wrong.”

“You leave the good name of stationary out of this.” Howard’s tone was suddenly direct, intense, and confident. Vince had hit a nerve.

“I keep the pens and pencils together, all mixed up.” His voice bratty and challenging as he nuzzled Howard’s thigh through his trousers, moving up towards his crotch. “I don’t even arrange them by color or ink levels.”

“You’re going to stop touching me like some kind of trollop, you’re going to bend over the arm of the couch, and you’re not going to speak unless spoken to. Understood?”

“Yes, sir.” Vince grinned to himself as he assumed the position. He had only seen this side of Howard in sparse moments after extensive needling, nothing ever this prolonged. He liked where this was going. And he was going to prolong it as much as possible.

Once Vince was bent over the couch with his pert ass playfully stuck out, Howard flipped his skirt up to take in the entire sight. The sheer panties left little to the imagination and somehow that felt more obscene than pure nudity. His eyes dropped from the curve of Vince’s bottom down to his scrotum, which was neatly shaved. His cock was not readily visible from this position, but Howard could easily imagine how hard it was.

His hand came down hard on Vince’s cheek. It was easy to forget how strong Howard was given his usual demeanor, but he was a tall, sturdy man with lean but well-muscled arms and large hands. Perfect for administering such a punishment.

Vince yelped, partially out of pain, partially out of shock.

“I’m going to give you twenty of those, and I want you to count them off.”“I’m too pretty to do such advanced maths.”

“Is that part of the bit or are…? Nevermind. I’ll count. And you’re getting an extra five for not addressing me properly.”

“Understood, sir.”

The spanking continued as promised, turning Vince’s ass a lovely shade of pink that he would surely appreciate if he were flexible enough to see it. Feeling particularly bold, Howard yanked down Vince’s panties. “Now what are we going to do about that grade?”

“Oh, sir, I’d do anything. You know I need a passing grade to graduate. I could suck you off under your desk, jerk you off between lectures, let you come all over my pretty face, I’d even let you touch my hair however you wanted.”

“What about this?” Vince winced slightly as Howard firmly gripped his ass, which was still considerably sore from the spanking. “Does this belong to me?”

“Yes sir, anything.”

“Will you finger yourself in front of me? Show me how much you want it?”

“Of course.”

“Of course, what?”“Of course, sir. Permission to get grab lube from my bag?”

“Granted.”

Vince rummaged through the bag he had packed for the club and found the small bottom of lubricant he always took with him “just in case.” He positioned himself on the couch, leaning back with his legs spread, lifting his skirt so his erection would remain exposed. His cock was fairly average as far as size went, but looked large against his small frame. Once happy with finding a suitably lewd pose, he poured a bit of lubricant onto his fingers. He reached between his legs, giving his cock a quick stroke before sliding his hand down further and probed gently.Howard had never seen another man pleasure himself, not even in porn. His bicuriosity had been a recent discovery, and all of his previous experiences had been with women. Yes, all one of them.

“Oh, Mr. Moon, I need your cock inside of me. You’d feel so big inside of my tight little hole. It’d feel better than anything else in the world. I bet you fuck like a mastodon.”

“Odd turn of phrase, but I’ll take it. Help me with my trousers.”

“You sound like an old man when you say it like that.” Not even the allure of sex could stop Vince from teasing his mate.

“And you’re a thirty-year-old dressed like a school girl. Do you want to get fucked or not?” And for once Howard was wearing the pants in the relationship, although mostly figuratively because Vince was making quick work of his slacks.

“Should I suck, sir?” Vince looked up at him with big, bright eyes, looking much more innocent than any man offering fellatio should. It was a tempting offer, but Howard knew he wouldn’t last if Vince took him into his mouth, and he had other plans in store.

“No, I want to go all the way with this. Bend back over for me.”

Vince hurried to get into the correct stance and bent over for Howard. He stretched and wiggled so his rear end rubbed against Howard’s straining erection. As gorgeous as the sight was, Howard turned his attention to finding the small bottle of lube Vince had used earlier and slicked himself up. With one hand guiding his cock and the other on Vince’s hip, he slowly pushed himself into Vince’s waiting hole.

After a few awkward thrusts, the two men had found a rhythm. It was a bit sloppy, sure, but that didn’t seem to matter as Vince moaned in time with Howard’s soft grunts. Vince was pressing back against Howard’s movements, desperate for as much stimulation as possible.

“Sir, please, let me touch myself. I want to come for you.” How Vince was still able to form words, let along sentences, at a time like this eluded Howard, but he nonetheless did his best to make an affirmative noise, which seemed to get the message across as Vince was now rubbing himself.

It wasn’t long after that Howard felt his orgasm approaching, swift and unstoppable. With a final groan, he came inside of Vince, doing his best to keep thrusting even as his legs turned to jelly. He withdrew himself as carefully as he could, feeling a surge of pride as he saw the way Vince’s opening was now gaping and dribbling with his seed. Evidence of a job well done, he thought.

Vince wasn’t far behind, the change in sensation being enough to push him over the edge. His moans had turned into desperate pants as he gave himself a few final strokes. Finally, it hit him, not caring that his load was making a mess of what was an unfortunately dry clean only skirt as the wave of pleasure washed over him.

Completely spent, the two men collapsed on the couch as they caught their breath.

“So wait… when you said I looked like a teacher who wanted to shag his students, what year was I teaching in this scenario? Were you saying I look like a paedophile?”

“I was saying whatever I thought would get you to fuck me. Now shut up and enjoy the afterglow.”

**Author's Note:**

> I realize that Noel Fielding has never and probably will never listen to a Britney Spears song unless forced, but Vince is a Britney stan and I am willing to fight a thousand stronger men over this. Not especially relevant, but still worth saying.


End file.
